it is my misunderstanding of what makes a woman love a man that is rubbing alcohol in my wound called loneliness. and i need my bandage called ‘you’.

i am a gentleman.

i give you my blessings, to the girl who heart i could never win, the man who is more capable and chivalrous than i can ever be. i will move on.

growing up.

perhaps we really have grown past the many fads in our lives. i browsed through the many links on blog and realised almost every one of them have been ‘dead’ at least for the past year. i guess now twitter has taken its place with its simple, to the point updates from practically anywhere with a 3g mobile phone.

i’m still here with my trusty blog which has been with me through my most important times for the sake of whoever wants to read. dear blog, though i’ve forsaken you on many occasions, you are still here wordpress. for that i am grateful.

everyday i discover something new on facebook. i find out friends are getting themselves boyfriends and girlfriends, i find a primary school mate who can’t recall who i am. i can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness and a little sorry for myself. all through my early life i tried to be important to the people i feel were significant to me. it seems now that they did not see me the way that i had seen them. they walk out of your lives to be a part of someone else’s. now i’m suppose to find someone to fill mine? is that how it is suppose to be?

first weekend duty, scary bunk

its funny how the hit stats say there were 2 hits on my blog though it’s been dead for so long, i guess, someone probably googled something and stumbled upon this page. i’m in camp, i’m doing weekend duty this weekend, hoping for a monday off. if i do get it off i’m going drinking, hahaha! join me anyone? i have a scary bunk which i am going to stay in alone this friday night, somebody save me. and i’m going to play paintball this sunday morning too with the ac people, gonna be really fun! can’t wait!

They say…

that if you start worrying about everything all of a sudden without any apparent reason, it could be a sign of depression. I think i could break anytime now. i’m too stressed up to take a break.

the things that were said and done however little they seemed are all coming back to me now, you were just subtlely hiding right in the center of my heart

and so it is again.

5 days from my first driving test i failed again. except i failed much quicker today. how quick was it? 10 mins from i got into the vehicle. dumbo decided he wanted to cross the road at the wrong time. i won’t shirk responsibility on my part but the least he could do as a pedestrian was to let the test vehicles pass as smoothly as possible, the more being a driving trainee. that is what i would do and have done. some people are so inconsiderate.

i’m counting down to the next driving test, i hope it comes soon, i need to pass it badly. my face is being invaded by pimples, i think it’s the stress. maybe?

tp test tomorrow!

i’m taking my driving test tomorrow for my military licence. here are the list of things i need to do to avoid failing before i exit the circuit.

greet the tester
do my checks of the vehicle
keep the wheel choke
get onto the vehicle and write the vehicle log book
i will buckle my seat belt and adjust my mirrors
i tell the tester where the v.com standing orders are and to buckle his seat belt
i will tell him i’m ready to move off
i will check around for vehicles before signalling and moving out of the lot
i will beware of rear wheel hit kerb
i will beware of premature turning
i will not roll back!!!!
i will do my 3 point turn properly!!!
i will remember to on and off my signals
my safety checks will not be forgotten
and i will park my vehicle nicely!

I WILL NOT FAIL GODDAMMIT!

back from tekong!

actually i was back yesterday evening. the past 2 weeks has been a really tiring experience. i shall be careful with the things i say here in case i get screwed for revealing information i’m not suppose to.

the night before enlistment was as expected, a sleepless one. making my way to pasir ris interchange for the bus to saf ferry terminal, i just simply could not believe i was becoming a soldier. for a moment i flashed back to that moment so many years ago in secondary school when i thought national service was too far to think about then i was standing in line with my mother waiting to board the shuttle bus.

the rest of the days was all p.t, aerobics and lectures everyday. air conditioning was such a luxury that i was sure everyone felt sleepy while in the lecture room. i would not deny that i slept in the some of them but i forced myself awake after the sergeants/sirs got pissed.

the food was not bad considering that we’re in the army. frankly one of the things that kept me going these 14 days lately was the food. everyday looking forward to what we’re having for breakfast/dinner/ lunch hoping for a surprise in the fare. unfortunately, this method is becoming less and less effective because of disappointments and repeat menus.

and yes, my neighbour living in my block is my bunk mate. what a coincidence. the odds of getting in the same company is low, the odds of getting in the same platoon is even lower, odds of getting into the same section is as low as it can be.

i’m booking in on sunday at 1925 hrs at pasir ris mrt station. 2 nights left at home, gonna caress my bed as much as possible. hahaha! the beds at tekong are actually quite good, but nothing will ever compare to home.

2 days left (not including today and tomorrow of course)

today will be the day i settle my packing list for the things to bring to island of tekong. lets see i’m missing a cheap watch, underwear, spectacle bands and febreeze. i wonder where i’m gonna get my cheap watch, i’ll try bedok interchange then if it doesn’t have the classic black casio watch i’ll go bugis. not that i don’t have underwear but i wear boxers most of the time, i heard during training we can’t wear them. spectable bands instead of the rubber hooks because the tips of my glasses are too thick to insert them. if you know what i’m talkin about. hahaha! finally febreeze because if i’m too lazy to wash my clothes it’ll come in handy.

alright, time to change and head out!